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julia - sibiu, romania

Julia and I ‘met’ in a Facebook Expat group for Sibiu when I was still staying in Italy. My plans after Romania were initially to head to Ukraine, and since Julia is Ukrainian, I had plenty to ask her, and we’ve remained in close contact since my arrival in Sibiu.

What is your website about?

The “Transilventures” Facebook page (which is not a “proper” website), is a page where I and my friends organize free trips around Transylvania, Romania on which we explore authentic places and meet inspiring people. It’s also about discovering ourselves and making friends while having a little adventure.

What inspired you to create it?

If you have ever been lonely in a crowd, you know how it feels: you go out for a drink or a dinner with lots of acquaintances, the music is loud, everyone is having fun, but at some point, you start to ask yourself: why can’t I connect to anyone?

I wanted to do something opposite: to go on a quieter journey in nature with a small group of people, to listen to others and get to know them. I’ve made some really good friends this way last year and this year before the shitshow started.

You’re ‘stuck’ in Transylvania due to the Coronavirus pandemic. How are you coping with it?

Haha, to be honest, we were stuck here even before “Corona” happened. Ok, kidding. I didn’t really feel “stuck” before in Sibiu, Transylvania, because I like this place, but now things are different: we live in the very centre of the town, but can’t go out much and can’t experience the artistic life that we’re into - jazz festivals, theatres, exhibitions… As someone who works from home for the last 7 years, I needed to go outside to simply keep myself sane.

So right now, I’m coping by doing crazy amounts of gardening. And answering your questions 🙂 By the way, do you want some fresh green onions?

The craziest situation you have dealt with during one of your trips, besides Coronavirus pandemic?

Okay, picture this: you’re on a plane with your project partner. He is a great project partner, but that’s about it: you two are not friends, you bore each other to tears, each of you pretends they are into reading an article about the all-inclusive hotel in Antalya in a flight mag…And then the plane is entering turbulence, very nasty turbulence. The first thought in my mind was: “If we are about to fall now, I so much wish I’d be together with someone I dig…”

Luckily, the plane had very cold-blooded, very professional pilots and all ended well.

What does your perfect morning look like?

There are so many ways to have a perfect start of the day…One good way would be a chilly early November morning in a Transylvanian village when your special person is still sleeping.

There needs to be a bit of mist and the smell of burned wood in the air. Then you grab your morning cup of coffee and happily stare into the mist.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Dates, but only those big, soft and juicy ones. Those dry and squished together fruits that you get from a local supermarket won’t do.

Would you rather have true love or win the lottery?

Meeting true love is rare, rarer than winning the lottery, I guess? Grab your true love and never let it go and let them grab you back 😀

What was the most significant plot twist in your life?

I’m really curious things yet to come.

What was the last book you got really into?

“How to Stop Time” by Matt Haig. Somehow reading this book feels like a part of a grander scheme of things…

How different do you act around acquaintances versus people you are comfortable with?

Most of the times I manage to be authentic with both types you’ve mentioned. But one sure difference between acquaintances and closer people is social distance. If it’s less than half a meter between us, you are a friend!

Also, I usually don’t feel comfortable being touched by acquaintances. Which makes me terrible at dance parties: any partner dance is something I’d do only with my man 🙂

What is your go-to series or movie that you always put on when you can’t find anything?

Here are my 3 go-to movies: “The Fifth Element,” “Youth” by Paolo Sorrentino, and “The Brand New Testament” a bittersweet, fun and heart-breaking film directed by Jaco Van Dormael.

What is the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone?

Basically, every good connection I’ve developed online since this crazy lock-down has started to work due to some stranger circumstance…let’s see what happens to those connections after the lock-down is over!

What is something you are learning about yourself throughout all of this?

We are now advised to wear protective masks outside wherever we go, but at the same time we shed our social masks, we become more authentic.

For instance, I don’t bother engaging in self-censorship anymore on social media and often I share how I truly feel about things, what scares me and what gives me hope.

A message to yourself or to others you’d like to give once the pandemic is over:

Dear people! Freedom is soooooo important and we often take it for granted. We might experience our freedom significantly restricted during this lockdown. When this crazy thing is over, let’s make sure no one keeps on restricting it.

cole - rhode island, usa

Cole is a friend from Providence in my home state of Rhode Island. He and I have been friends for years - he’s my favorite (and recurring) New Years Eve date! I also have a small tattoo on my finger that Cole did with a pencil eraser and needle. Fun facts!

What is work for you?  How has the pandemic affected your ability to work or your livelihood?

I work in restaurants. So, I’m currently furloughed. Luckily Rhode Island enacted measures to help out workers who lost their job because of the governor shutting down said business. I don’t live a particularly lavish life so the money from unemployment is fine by me. I also had the forethought to sign up for a new credit card back in January, when I started to see things happening around the world. That has helped me get by as well.

Has this situation changed your plans for the future in any way?

My main concerns about employment have more to do with what happens when we try and go back “to normal”. I’m fairly new at my current restaurant , and the restaurant is a smaller non-corporate restaurant, and is likely taking a very big hit financially from being closed for 2+months. So, I have my concerns as to how much of a job I’ll have to return to. Hopefully, at worst, my hours are simply reduced when I return, Or I can find another job.

The only definite plans it changed was a live podcast taping that I had tickets for was cancelled. Other than that thought I suppose I’ll plan to keep a bit more toilet paper on hand now! At least when i can actually find some in stores.

Where are you locked down due to the Coronavirus pandemic?  How are you coping with it?

I live in a two-floor apartment with seven other people. So, honestly boredom or loneliness haven’t been much of a problem. We have game nights and have been cooking for/with each other. I’m the only one with any hair cutting experience. So I’ve been trading hair cuts for plates of food. We’ve always been a fairly communal group and closing out the rest of the world has given us a chance to get to know each other better. I know we’re not supposed to be in large groups, but we’re literally the only people we see.

I have found myself get pretty agitated from a lot of things I see people post online about the virus. A lot of people don’t take expert advice and believe they know more. Since I have so much time to spend online now these situations can become infuriating. That’s one of the only things that I have to “cope” with so to speak. It sucks out a lot of the hope I have in me. Every time I see someone out in groups in public, or discussing how this is being blown out of proportion, it just let’s me know that’s another week added onto the home quarantine sentence and another week that a businesses may close permanently because they can’t have customers.

The most humorous or unbelievable situation you have found yourself in (excluding the current situation)?

A few summers ago Joaquin Phoenix was filming a movie in my city. While he was in town he went to go see a show at the local theater. My roommate at the time helped run the theater. One thing led to another and Joaquin comes back to our house to party after the leaving the theater.

That would be a pretty cool story on it’s own, but turns out that enjoyed hanging out with us so much that he would come by nearly every day after he was done working. So I was friends with Joaquin for a summer. He was a nice guy. Once, he did our dishes and bought my roommate a bed because he didn’t have one. He even helped me trim weed.

What does your perfect morning look like?

Well the perfect morning means I’m waking up in a tent at Greyfox bluegrass festival. Hopefully not too hung over. Usually a little earlier than everyone else. I like getting breakfast and coffee ready for everyone. Then heading down to the creek for a quick swim, and getting ready for a day of music. The best part is there’s no cell service so we can all connect with everyone.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Noodles from Xi’an Famous Foods in NYC. They have several locations around the city and I randomly stopped in while I was in the city. I’ve literally driven 5 hours to NYC just for those noodles. I stayed in a hostel and drove back the next day.

Would you rather have true love or win the lottery?

I’d rather have both, but I suppose you can never really be broke if you have someone to love.

What was the most significant plot twist in your life?

The 2008 recession changed some pretty big plans I had in the works. At the time I was a manager at Dave and Busters, and my GM had plans for me to get shipped of to a different store in NYC for a promotion. The lease at my apartment was ending and I was told not to sign a new lease. So, I moved back in with mom for a month or two, until everything could get finalized.

Then the recession hit. Dave and Buster sold the company to an outside firm, I guess you’d call them. The new owners slashed the budget. My current position and new position were on the chopping block and a new GM came in and took over. They gave me the option to stay on as a server. Which was the position I started there as, but I couldn’t do that to myself. So I went from getting a promotion and moving to the Big Apple to being an unemployed guy living in his parents basement in the span of less than 2 weeks.

What was the last book you got really into?

I don’t read many novels. I tend to read more instructional pieces. Thing to do with woodworking, gardening, home brewing - things in that sort of direction.

How different do you act around acquaintances versus people you are comfortable with?

I’m fairly quiet no matter how you slice it. I don’t think I act much differently whether I know you or not though. I’m a server in a restaurant. I’ve learned how to be comfortable with strangers. It’s part of my job. On top of that I’ve learned that not caring what people think about, but while also caring about those people, you will get you a lot farther in life.

What is your go-to series or movie that you always put on when you can’t find anything?

Just a year ago I would have said The Office, But now a days It’s actually a podcast, My Brother, My Brother, and Me. It’s just a quirky comedy podcast were three brother sit and chat and answer the dumbest questions that people ask mainly on Yahoo questions. Questions asked in earnest, such as “What’s the difference between anorexic and balsamic?” and “What country is Queen Latifah ruler of?”

What is the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone?

Did you ever go on vacation with your family when you were younger and you end up becoming friends with the other kid that’s on vacation with their family? Those were always the weirdest types of friends to me. You’re, like, best friends for a week or so, and then never really see each other again. I think that’s how a lot of people got comfortable ghosting on people.

What is something you are learning about yourself throughout all of this?

I grew up an only child and spent large amounts of time alone while growing having my mom working and what not. So, I’ve been realizing through this, I think I’m actually too comfortable being by myself all the time. So I’ve been making efforts to also be as comfortable with everyone else.

A message to yourself or to others you’d like to give once the pandemic is over:

Never forget why we’re in this situation. Never forget how much could have been done to prevent this, but wasn’t.

debbie - narragansett, rhode island, usa

Debbie and I met when a friend of mine had recommended one of her yoga classes, back when I lived in Rhode Island. She quickly became one of my primary teachers in the state - if you happen to find yourself in RI, she has the most epic playlists and creative sequences you’ll find - and they’ll kick your ass!

What is work for you?  How has the pandemic affected your ability to work or your livelihood?

I teach yoga full time at Laughing Elephant Yoga in East Greenwich which the studio the Lori Mancini and I have together. I’m currently not taking in any funds, but the studio will reopen when all this is done and we are freezing everyone’s accounts. I’ve been teaching free classes from home that are offered on FB and YouTube. I am very blessed that my husband is still working and his salary can cover both of us, so I haven’t had to stress about money.

Has this situation changed your plans for the future in any way?

We had a trip scheduled to go to Jamaica ( next week actually) and that has been cancelled. As far as the bigger picture, I guess it all is really is dependent upon what the “new normal” shapes up to be.

Where are you locked down due to the Coronavirus pandemic?  How are you coping with it?

Yes we are locked down ( although not as extreme as some parts of the world). I honestly didn’t realize until this how much I rely on human interaction and physical touch to get my energy. I hate not being able to hug my Mom (…and just in general, I am a hugger). Although teaching online has given me some kind of outlet, not getting live feedback is weird. Overall I haven’t been handling it great… I am good most of the day but I have been drinking too much wine in the late afternoon which makes me fall asleep early so I turn I am up a lot at night.

The most humorous or unbelievable situation you have found yourself in (excluding the current situation)? 

This may be in the TMI department but it is super funny ( now). On one of our trips to Mexico my husband and I were being a little too enthusiastic in the bedroom, and I ended up getting 8 stitches in my head in a Cancun Emergency room cause I hit my head on the bedside table. When my hubby called for assistance ( there was a lot of blood) he didn’t understand why I told them right away ( when a nurse, hotel rep and security guard came to our room) what we were doing, and I was like do you not see the cop ?!? They snuck us out the back door of the resort with a bandage wrapped around my head and a drunk woman in the elevator said “ I want to go where you are going”… um no.
Best was I had to get the stitches out at home and confess to my Dr what happened too.

What does your perfect morning look like? 

Walking my dog down to the beach to see the sunrise. I live in Narragansett within a short walk of the beach so fortunately this happens more often then not.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

It’s a toss up between pasta and cheese. Usually together. Honestly, if I end up with a gluten or dairy issue at some point I am going to be in big trouble.

Would you rather have true love or win the lottery?

I have true love so I guess winning the lottery would be nice. But I would pick love first….

What was the most significant plot twist in your life?

My husband and I originally met over 30 years ago but both married different people first. He divorced, then I did too (unrelated to each other) and we started dating long distance from Atlanta to RI. I told him I would never move so this wasn’t going to go anywhere… a year later, I moved to Dallas to be with him when he was transferred there and we were there for 5 years before returning to RI. We have been married 15 years this year 🙂

What was the last book you got really into?

Untamed by Glendon Doyle and Revolution of the Soul by Seane Corn. I read a lot of fiction too, so I have been blowing through books during this time (something like 20 so far).

How different do you act around acquaintances versus people you are comfortable with?

Pretty much what you see is what you get with me. I’m pretty goofy all the time.

What is your go-to series or movie that you always put on when you can’t find anything?

It’s more that when I am flipping through channels and it happens to be on I will ALWAYS stop to see what scene it is in: Jaws. *edited to add:* I’m realizing is I’ve been flipping through TV the last couple of days I should probably add to my movie choice in addition to Jaws is Deadpool.

What is the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone?

My friend Susie didn’t like the way one of my male students was looking at me and decided to take it upon herself to be my bodyguard. Mind you she is 4’8 and probably 100lbs soaking wet. But 12 years later we are still buds 🙂

What is something you are learning about yourself throughout all of this?

I really need people.

A message to yourself or to others you’d like to give once the pandemic is over:

We just need to be nicer to each all the time…Don’t take for granted our freedoms and the people in your life. And do what you can to embrace, literally and figuratively, life.

chris - tampa, florida, usa

Chris and I met (I believe?) at a party in Narragansett, RI one night - actually, I’m pretty sure the party was at his house. Since then, I began bartending at one of his regular haunts, and we became friends while I was behind the bar.

What is work for you?  How has the pandemic affected your ability to work or your livelihood?

I was working as a bartender at two different restaurants in the Tampa Bay area (South Tampa). Unfortunately, this pandemic has put me out of work, in addition to everyone else in the hospitality industry. It’s pretty brutal, especially when most of the money made is in the form of tips paid.

Has this situation changed your plans for the future in any way?

Not exactly, at the current moment. However, i think it may be too early to tell. I think that this realization will come in June, if the US is still on a shutdown.

Where are you locked down due to the Coronavirus pandemic?  How are you coping with it?

I’m locked down in sunny Tampa, Florida. I’m coping with it okay, it has been getting very hot out, 90’s for the past week. The only annoying this about it being this nice during shutdown is that the pool is locked up.

The most humorous or unbelievable situation you have found yourself in (excluding the current situation)? 

I have a few of these, but probably the most memorable time was a trip I took to Central Europe. I was spending time in Poland with some friends, and we decided to go to Czech Republic for a week. So we hop on the train from Krakow.

First of all, there were no booths that could fit all three of us; so my friend, being the genius he is, uses a skeleton key his grandmother gave him and gets us into a completely empty booth. About an hour later, we get a knock on the door. It’s someone working for the train. ( I do not know Polish.) This guy is screaming at us all in Polish, looking at me, as I was closest to the door. Finally, I point to my friends and convey that my Polish is nonexistent. He tells my friends, “You are not supposed to be here! What are you doing here? How did you open the door? You need to leave!” To which my friend said no, and literally closed the door in his face. ( Surprisingly never bothered us again.)

Fast forward maybe 5 hours, we arrive at the border between Czech and Poland, and the train stops. We knew we had a little time to kill, so we left the train and walked into the train station. Walking down a bunch of long tunnels we finally see a door with a little light above that says “Bar”. “Perfect”, we thought, “let’s grab a beer here and then we can grab some to go beers’, to avoid paying the higher prices on the train. So this bar……this bar was straight out of a scene from Hostel; small flickering light above the bar, music playing was some in and out american pop music, smoke everywhere. The tables surrounding us were filled with a couple big guys all drinking beers and smoking cigarettes.

One table had a beautiful woman and her, I can only assume, sugar daddy. I was feeling a little sketched because we had smoked a joint, as it is legal in CZR. So we grab our to go beers and head back to the train. When we got back to the train my one friend and I got back on to get ourselves situated. My other friend decided to spark another cigarette and finish it outside. About 5 minutes later, my friend is half way through his cigarette, a ways away on his phone; and the train starts to move. My friend tosses his cigarette and sprints to the train car, and starts clawing at the doors to get them open. NO DICE, they wouldn’t budge. Tries another door, no luck.

Meanwhile, my one friend and I are yelling at him from the train to get the “F” back on before he’s stuck in the middle of nowhere.After another minute of him freaking out. We decided the only way that he could get back on, was through our window. Luckily, my friend is tall, however the windows sat about 2m off the ground. He starts jumping and we start grabbing for him. Finally we get a firm grip and pull him through the tiny train window, we pretty much all fall on the ground. About 30 seconds later, the train rolls to a stop and we stay at this train station for another 5 hours! We didn’t leave train again during that trip! haha!

What does your perfect morning look like? 

My perfect morning is grabbing a coffee and driving (or walking) over to the beach and drinking said coffee while walking in the water. Then heading home for a shower and to get my day started.

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

Cheese. I’m literally addicted to it. Every kind of cheese. I’d probably eat vegan cheese if regular cheese was out.

Would you rather have true love or win the lottery?

True love. But also, how much money we talkin’ here?

What was the most significant plot twist in your life?

The biggest plot twist in my life was probably losing my father. Some months later, I made a decision to move down to Florida to get my mind of things and change things up. It’s been great, it’s summer all the time and I’ve met a ton of good friends.

What was the last book you got really into?

Papillon. About the french prisoner sent to a penal colony, who escapes through the jungles of South America ( I believe it’s based on actual events).

How different do you act around acquaintances versus people you are comfortable with?

I think pretty much the same. within reason. However, I am who I am and act how I act regardless; makes no sense to change it up for people that I don’t know, and may not ever see again.

What is your go-to series or movie that you always put on when you can’t find anything?

Currently, I’ve been caught up on Altered Carbon and Shameless. However, I love so many different TV genres that it’s difficult to really pinpoint. Arrested Development and Curb Your Enthusiasm are also some favorites!!!! I’m more of a music guy!

What is the strangest way you’ve become friends with someone?

Waiting for a flight to Berlin out of NYC, that ended up being delayed for 6 hours. This was about 8 years ago and Jess is in Austria, and we still talk!

What is something you are learning about yourself throughout all of this?

I’m learning that if I’m not working or involved with something outside of being home, that I have no sleep schedule. And it’s brutal!

A message to yourself or to others you’d like to give once the pandemic is over:

Stay positive everyone! Listen to some new music and learn something new that you had never known before. It’s also prime time to plan your next trip!! Also - and this is mostly towards people here in Florida…. STAY INSIDE!!!